I stepped off the path. Just one step. Determinedly off the path. Not an accidental misstep to be corrected later, but a full-on, actually-I-want-to-go-over-here-instead step. And guess what?
Nothing happened.
No great claxon of failure, no mortal shame, no despair at throwing my life away.
Still, every now and then, I think “what have I done!?” But, mostly, I feel deep, deep relief and joy. I am making my decisions based on what I actually want and not, what was it? Other people’s expectations? My own ingrained sense of “the proper thing to do”? What I see other people my age doing?
The further I come off the path, sometimes pushing through damp, dense undergrowth, sometimes wandering through the darkness of trees, but always looking at the view, exploring trails, listening to the birds, the more I realise I can do anything I like.
It’s my life. I can make whatever I want of it. And that is terrifying and exciting and bewildering and inspiring. It’s not easy but, hopefully, at the end of this experiment in choice-making, I will be able to look back on a life in which I have given my time to the people, activities and projects I love. Hopefully, I will look back and see a life full of conscious choices based on my own priorities.
This blog is about the journey, the one I am still very much beginning, from a life of misguided work, to one where I choose to spend my time on what matters to me.
My escape and transformation from the broken-in human to the feral one.
I look forward to seeing where the tale goes.